In memory of Marissa: Raising caring, awareness and funds

By STEPHANIE PORTER-NICHOLS/Staff

Her 1-year-old daughter didn’t have a choice about how to face the cancer that claimed her life, but Brittany Shuler realized, in the midst of her grief, that bravery is an option as she now works for other children and their families.
That epiphany came when she received an e-mail from a woman who admitted she wasn’t brave enough to shave off her hair even if it would raise awareness and money for children’s cancer research. Brittany thought of Marissa, her baby, who died Sept. 6 from a brain tumor, a couple days shy of being 14 months old. The 23-year-old mother decided she would find the courage.
A summer baby, Marissa was born July 8, 2008. “She was late. I was ready,” remembered Brittany in an interview this week. Marissa seemed to be the epitome of health. She weighed 8 lbs. 12 oz. and was 21½ inches long.
She thrived. Describing her child, Brittany said, “She loved the water, to take a bath, to go in the pool. If you had a piano, she had to go bang on it.” She also loved to wrestle in the floor with her dad, Jared. The young couple kept a baby pool filled with balls in the living room. Marissa, Brittany said, loved to sit the middle of it and throw balls everywhere.
“She always smiled. She was the happiest baby,” her mother declared.
For Christmas last year, Marissa’s maternal grandmother gave her a German shepherd puppy. The puppy was five weeks old; Marissa was five months old. The family named the pup Abby, and she and Marissa grew together. “Abby never left her side,” Brittany said. She was so gentle, Brittany said of the big dog.
Marissa likely inherited her love of animals from her mother, who was studying to be a veterinary assistant. One day the mother and daughter were in Marion Minit Lube, when longtime Smyth County Humane Society member Joan Baldwin came in and began talking about the organization. Brittany was hooked and still dedicates time to the animal-advocacy organization.
Soon Marissa’s first birthday arrived. As with so many other children, photos show her hands immersed in cake and big smiles on everyone’s faces.
A short time later, Marissa began throwing up. Until then, Brittany said, she’d never been sick. She didn’t have a fever or other symptoms. They tried treating her with Pedialyte. Nothing helped, and they took the year-old girl to the doctor.
On July 30, the mother and father learned Marissa had a brain tumor. On July 31 at 5 a.m., the family arrived at Brenner Children’s Hospital, part of Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center.
Marissa was learning to talk. She’d said a few words – “bath,” “Abby,” “Dada” – but a gut-wrenching moment came when for the first and only time the baby said, “Mama.” Marissa was crying as nurses worked to put in an IV. Brittany’s own new tears flowed at the memory.
Doctors operated. Marissa underwent chemotherapy treatments. In the end, Brittany said, “The cancer was too much for her.”
On Sept. 6, Marissa died.
Once they arrived, the family stayed at the children’s hospital.
On Dec. 12, they will return for a remembrance ceremony celebrating the lives of all the children who have died there this year.
Brittany wants to carry with her items that will help the families now there battling cancer, some they got to know during their stay.
With gratitude, Brittany remembers the family, friends, churches and others who helped them pay for food and other expenses while they were away from home. Other families struggle with those costs, she said. For the little family room equipped with a microwave and small refrigerator, Brittany wants to take supplies. She’s asking the community to help her provide the families with canned and easy-to-prepare boxed foods, disposable plates, bowls and forks, snacks, drinks, shampoo, soap, and similar items.
In an e-mail, Brittany wrote, “It is hard to be in the hospital, and even harder if it’s your child lying in the hospital bed. So, if you can, please help us help them.”
Brittany is also working to raise money for research. During their journey, the Shulers learned that childhood cancer is the number-one killer of children in this country, but less research has been done on it than adult forms of the disease.
“We never thought a baby could get cancer,” Brittany acknowledged, “but it’s more common than you think.”
Brittany sells “In Memory of Marissa” ribbons for at least a $1 donation to raise money for CureSearch, an organization that united the Children’s Oncology Group and the National Childhood Cancer Foundation. The Shulers received material from CureSearch that helped them.
Brittany has been asked to serve as the spokesperson for Smyth County’s Relay for Life next summer to share Marissa’s story.
Next September she plans to join 45 other mothers who will shave their heads on national television to benefit the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, which funds childhood cancer research. Each mother will work to raise funds.
Brittany keeps people updated about the activities through a Web site, http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/marissashuler. People may contact Brittany via e-mail at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
Brittany, who was a stay-at-home mom, believes the work benefits her. “It helps me to keep her alive,” she said, stopping to wipe away tears, and then added, “I do it all for her.”
“I believe when God puts us here on earth, we have a job. Hers was to touch lives.”

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