STRICTLY OBSERVING: Now you’re cooking

By ZACH COOLEY/Columnist

Dane Cook is currently one of the most successful stand-up comics and comedic film actors in show business.  His current Global Thermo Comedy Tour, based on his chart-topping CD/DVD and TV special, Isolated Incident, has sold out stadiums and arenas across North America since its inception in April.  Having become a big fan of Cook’s after my friends and I heard his groundbreaking double-disc album Retaliation in 2005, I had hoped to get the chance to see him live.  When I heard that he would be performing at the RBC Center in Raleigh, N.C., on Nov. 8, I debated whether or not the opportunity would be worth the three-hour journey.  However, when my buddy Jacob Sharitz, another avid Dane Cook fan, convinced me to go for it, we ultimately decided to make the journey together.  I think it’s safe to speak for both of us when I say the experience was well worth the trip.
Following a brief video clip of Cook onstage with rocker Chris Daughtry as they played guitar and sang a duet of the theme song from the TV show Growing Pains, his opening act appeared.  A 39-year old Irish-American from Boston, Massachusetts, Robert Kelly did a very good job with his half-hour shtick.  Often making himself the brunt of his own jokes, Kelly poked fun at his own issues of being overweight and his addiction to unhealthy foods.  With material from his latest album, Just the Tip, he explained why food was his drug of choice.  He noted that when you eat an apple, about five of your taste buds will be mildly pleased whereas when you bite into some macaroni and cheese, all of your taste buds will cheer vigorously. 
He also spoke about elderly people and their complete apathy towards every aspect of life.  Kelly explained that while young people are bright-eyed in anticipation of fulfilling their hopes and dreams, old people couldn’t care less about anything, having long since come to the realization that their dreams will never come true.  “Young people on the beach are always trying to look their best in case someone sees them,” he elaborated further.  “My 89-year old grandmother goes out on the beach in a one-piece bathing suit and flip-flops she’s had since 1975, exposing toenails that look like teeth.”
With his customized stage built in the shape of a boxing ring, Cook entered the arena from the far corner surrounded by RBC Center security personnel as if he were a fighter approaching the ring.  The open stage setting made the comedian more visible to his audience, even to those like us who were seated in the nosebleed section of the arena.  For his 90-minute set, the 37-year-old native of Cambridge, Massachusetts was in top form and clearly enjoying being at the pinnacle of his success as a stand-up comic.  Approaching his second decade as a professional comedian, Cook seemed genuinely grateful to his large and energetic Raleigh audience for helping him achieve his monumental success.
Having not heard any of Cook’s latest material before, the entire show was fresh and hilarious.  At times, he would begin to tell a story and then branch off in several different directions, which made his act seem more extemporaneous.  It was as if his material was not rehearsed and relayed to the audience as a delightful conversation with your most hilarious friend.  Cook covered a lot of comedic ground in 90 minutes, mostly offering hilarious insight to both men and women into the opposite sex.  He revealed secrets which he believes men and women keep from each other in terms of the dating scene and life as a couple. 
Among the material performed from his latest album, Isolated Incident, Cook explains the “What Would You Do If…” phenomenon.  This is to help guys understand when their girlfriends have done something stupid that will cause them trouble.  For example, if a guy and his girlfriend are riding in the car, the girlfriend may abruptly present the guy with the question, “What would you do if I forgot to fill up the gas tank yesterday and we didn’t have enough gas to make it home today?”  In such an instance, he is always safe to assume that she is not playing a guessing game or asking a simply hypothetical question.  He can pretty much anticipate being stranded along the roadside if he doesn’t reach a service station beforehand.
Though Cook appeared very happy to be onstage joking with his fans, he did get serious with his audience when he spoke of losing both of his parents to cancer within nine months in 2006 and 2007.  The audience cheered respectfully when he called his mother, Donna, the closest and most supportive person in his life.  He said his folks were always completely supportive of his being a comedian and encouraged him with full vigor to realize his dreams.  He paid tribute to his parents and even used his mother in a joke saying that despite his difficulty in deleting her from his cell phone contacts, he decided to call her one last time.  He changed his mind immediately after asking himself, “What if she answers?”
Seeing Dane Cook was a huge thrill for us.  Clearly, this comedian has the staying power of the legends such as Steve Martin and the late Richard Pryor, who have obviously influenced him.  When Dane Cook inevitably achieves such legendary status in his own right, I will always possess the satisfaction of having seen this comic in person while in the prime of his career.  That is a memory I will certainly always cherish.
Wytheville. Contact him at .