I MADE ITUP: A new support group

by Carl D. Clarke, Jr.

Support groups do good things.  Groups who work with recovering alcoholics, or people who are grieving, or family members of people with Alzheimers, help hurting people get through tough times.

But who’s helping the people who organize these things?  I think there needs to be a Support Group for Support Groups (SGSG).  Here’s what such a group would talk about:

Screening membership.  I don’t think you can let just anybody into a group that works with recovering sexoholics.  If I was single, I would want to join a sexoholics group, maybe get a few names, learn some new stuff.  The SGSG would come up with definitive tests to discover if a prospective member is truly committed. 

What works.  Every group has a 5K run or a 10K marathon to publicize its cause.  But if you’re working with recovering smokers, I don’t think a 25-mile marathon is such a good idea.  For people whose lungs are shot, I think a One-Block Amble would be more appropriate, with prizes for anyone who finished.  See, the SGSG would suggest appropriate activities for different groups. 

Besides, it takes a lot of work to organize a marathon:  mapping out the route, liaison with the police, recruiting crossing guards and people who hand out water, etc.  The SGSG could organize one big run for everybody.  I visualize an annual 1000K Run from here to Charlotte, NC.  That ought to create enough publicity and revenue for all the groups.  And it sure would save me detouring around Main Street every other Saturday. 

Discontinuing a group.  I don’t think there needs to be a support group for chocoholics.  Chocolate is a good thing, in fact, one of God’s best ideas.  Chocoholics are soft, warm-natured people, albeit a little overweight.  They’re not hurting anybody; let them be.  Note to any chocoholics reading this:  could you send me some Triple Chocolate Killer Cake?

New Audiences.  The SGSG would survey the social landscape to discover new audiences who need support groups.  Cell phone addicts are surely one.  Car texters are another.  The former are just irritating; the latter are downright dangerous.  If you are a support group junkie with Tuesday and Thursday nights free, you need to start these two groups immediately.

Master Calendar.  The SGSG would maintain a master calendar of all support group meetings.  One person from every church in Washington County would be on the calendar committee, since churches are where many support groups meet.  A master calendar would help avoid unnecessary duplication of groups and schedule conflicts.

If you are interested in starting a Support Group for Support Groups, call me.  Maybe we can meet at the library. 
Carl D. Clarke, Jr. from Abingdon is a weekly columnist for the Washington County News.  He may be reached at