BECK N ME: Racing down to Bristol

BY JACK CROSSWELL
    Ed Thompson brought a message to the barn.  He said Paul Brewster said Wythe Albert said that Boris Said said he was going to win the NASCAR race at Bristol. 
    Said Old Blue Rosenbloom, “I don’t care who said what.  I’ve said I’m still a Kyle Petty fan.”
    “Kyle Petty isn’t racing anymore,” said Beck, my ole Missouri mule.  “Pulling for him is like me pulling for Dan Patch, the greatest of race horses.  At least Boris Said has taken Kyle’s place at the rear of the track.”
    “I could always count on Kyle,” said Blue.  “I figured that one day he would surprise me and come in first.  Many times I wished he’d have driven more like his pappy, King Richard.”
    “That doesn’t matter,” Greg Sayers said.  “Carl Edwards and Brad Keselowski have stolen the spotlight.  Them that gather at my store would rather see race card fight than watch the winner cross the finish line.”
    “If Snow Ball Bishop was still racing,” said Tommy Jones, “he’d teach those young whippersnappers a lesson or two in wrecking cars.”
    “Keselowski ain’t nothing but a cry baby,” Ratchet Arnold said.  “Edwards didn’t make a big deal out of it when Brad wrecked him.  And it happened more than once.”
    Ernie Musser said, “I saw it when Keselowski went airborne.  The way he flew he must have had the wings of an angel.”
    “If I was driving,” said Coy McRoberts, “I wouldn’t want a tough boy image because you’d have to back it up the rest of your racing life.  One day Carl Edwards is gonna be too old to do those back flips when he wins.  He hasn’t thought about that yet.”
Buster Blossom said, “Maybelle, my wife, wonders if race car drivers are immune to criminal penalties if they deliberately cause a fatal accident.”
    “She’s a big woman,” mumbled No Fenders McGee.
A retired lawman and journalist, and published novelist, Jack Crosswell lives in Cripple Creek.