STRICTLY OBSERVING: North Carolina humor

By ZACH COOLEY
One of the best days I’ve had in a long while was spent with my friends Shane and Jeff as we headed to see the popular comedian/ventriloquist Jeff Dunham in concert at the Greensboro Coliseum Complex in Greensboro, N.C.  This was the first time I had been on any such trip with friends and there wasn’t anyone else in the world with whom I would have rather made the journey.  It was a day spent in the company of exceptional people for which I will forever be grateful.
In addition to the laughs and memories that were made during the trip, the show proved to be a hilarious performance that was well worth all the effort involved.  Thousands of people filed into the coliseum to see this 48-year-old Dallas-born comedian perform the shtick from his most recent Comedy Central special, Spark of Insanity.  The show started at around 7:25 p.m. when Dunham’s opening act, Brian Haner, took the stage.  Originally a recording studio session guitarist, Haner’s musical talents can be heard in back of such rock acts as Frank Zappa, Tower of Power and Rose Royce over the past 20 years.  Unable to make a name for himself in the music world, Haner suddenly became an Internet sensation after a segment, in which he performed with Dunham at the Improv comedy club in L.A., was displayed on YouTube.  Afterwards, he became known as “the guitar guy” and has since toured the country with Dunham. 
During his short but entertaining set, Haner blended his sense of humor with his amazing ability as a guitarist and singer.  He spoke about his life as a struggling musician, joking about his experimentations with drugs and alcohol.  Haner then talked about his failed marriages, which was followed by a lasting union with his current wife, hypnotist Suzy Haner.  He also mentioned his children, one of whom is Synyster Gates, the lead guitarist for the popular rock group Avenged Sevenfold.  Haner admitted to being slightly jealous of his son’s having the gold records that could’ve been his, but says that every time he sees his son perform onstage, he can’t help but watch him proudly, saying to himself, “That’s my 401 K.” Haner closed his act with some impressive guitar playing that included the Jimi Hendrix version of “The Star Spangled Banner,” part of which he played behind his head.  His approximate 15-minute presentation was the shortest opening act I have ever seen, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.
After brief intermission, Jeff Dunham took the stage to a wildly enthusiastic crowd following a brief video introduction, by Peanut, one of his most popular puppets, who attempts to give the audience a backstage look at Dunham’s show by stealing his personal video camera.  As my friends and I already own copies of the Spark of Insanity DVD, which we have each watched beyond the point of memorization, we were thrilled to see almost all new material from the comedian and his hysterically funny puppet friends.  First off, Dunham’s stand-up portion of the show was even funnier than usual as he poked fun at his 16 year old daughter, Bree’s ineptness at learning how to pump gas into her car for the first time.  This series of humorous mishaps was filmed by Dunham’s wife, Paige, via cell phone.  As a result, Dunham declared that, the next time his daughter gave him any trouble, he would place the video on YouTube.  He also informed us that much of his performance would consist of Christmas related material, as a holiday TV special and DVD was being taped throughout his current tour for release this season.
Walter was the first of Dunham’s puppets to step into the spotlight.  He’s the grumpy, discontented old man in the group who delights fans with his negative, but side-splitting sarcasm.  First, Walter suggests that people from Greensboro are not that smart, noting that the city was “not that far from West Virginia.” Later, when Dunham explains to Walter that they were going to do some material for the Christmas special, he adamantly protests, but eventually gives in.  Thus, Dunham begins his Christmas monologue by saying, “Happy holidays, Walter.” Without quoting his reply exactly, Walter informed his puppeteer that the correct greeting was “Merry Christmas.” After Dunham pointed out that not everyone celebrated Christmas, Walter simply replied, “They’re wrong,” which got a great response from the crowd.
Next came one of Dunham’s newest creations, Achmed, the Dead Terrorist.  The wisecracking skeleton with his menacing yellow eyes was brought onstage wearing a Santa hat in place of his usual turban.  With the implementation of some of his famous catch phrases such as, “Silence, I kill you!” and “Holy crap,” Achmed named some of his favorite holiday songs such as, “Silence Night” and “O Holy Crap (I Think I Blew My Foot Off)”.  He even shared one song, “Jingle Bombs,” with us, thanks to the help of “guitar guy” Brian Haner.  Achmed’s portion of the show was a highlight, having been so funny, at one point, that Dunham cracked himself up. 
Also included the show, of course, was Peanut, the purple woozle, and José Jalapeño on a Stick.  While José makes only a brief but hilarious appearance, Peanut’s segment dominated the second half of the show.  In his portion of the upcoming holiday presentation, Peanut pokes fun at ‘Twas the Night before Christmas, by cracking various jokes about the story as Dunham attempts to read it.  For example, he deduces that Santa’s obesity must have resulted in diabetes by now.  Therefore, he suggests that, as opposed to leaving him cookies on Christmas Eve, we should leave him insulin instead.  A superb show from beginning to end, I thank my friends Shane and Jeff for their company and help in getting me there.  I look forward to another such trip soon.
A graduate of Wytheville Community College, Zach Cooley lives in Wytheville. Contact him at .