Column: Even with dementia, man knew his destination

By DR. MARK ROSS/Columnist

My friend Bill Shermer, a source of wit and wisdom, described the tirade a distraught woman poured out upon the circulation manager of the local newspaper. After the onslaught, her question was quite simple, “Why have you not delivered my Sunday paper?”
The manager’s answer was just as simple. “Because today is Saturday, and we do not deliver the Sunday paper on Saturday.”
After a moment of embarrassing silence the woman confessed, “I guess that explains why no one was at church this morning.”
At 90-years-old Herbert was of the generation which believed that when going somewhere unless you arrived early, you were, in effect, late. Therefore, it was his practice to show up for Sunday school at least 30 minutes early. By that point, Herbert had been up for hours. He was as predictable as the calendar. If anyone was at church, it was Herbert. It was his habit.
One October, during a late-night fall festival, surprisingly, Herbert pulled into the church parking lot. He was wearing his favorite wool suit. His Bible and Sunday school quarterly were on the seat beside him. Since Herbert never drove at night, we were shocked to see him. When a few of us asked if he needed anything, his reply shocked us even more. “I am here for Sunday school.” Herbert was 12 hours early.
Sundowner’s syndrome is a form of dementia. Like Alzheimer’s disease, people with Sundowner’s syndrome are generally confused. The difference is timing. For some people when evening comes, so does their confusion. They may hallucinate about angels on the wall, or become paranoid and combative with family members, some even wander dangerously away from their homes. Family members suggested that Herbert had Sundowner’s syndrome.
Herbert just became confused about time. During the day, he might ask the same question twice, or remember the events of 30 years ago more clearly than yesterday, but he was functional. When the sun went down, he lost complete track of time. It became Herbert’s habit to come to church 12 hours early.
Two things always amazed me about poor Herbert. One, though he came to church at the wrong time he was always early and never late. Some of us could use a little of that problem. Second, though Herbert was confused about time, he was never confused about place. He did not know when he was to be, but he knew where he was to be, church.
Once I heard someone say that we only have to remember the things that we forget. In other words, there are things we do not have to remember, they are part of us. For Herbert one of those things was going to church.
There is no doubt that someday I will forget more than I remember. In some ways, it has begun. Where was I going with this? My hope is that when my habits take over my choices, they will be good ones. Looking for the Sunday paper on Saturday is not terrible. I can even imagine being confused about where I am. I just want to be straight about where I am going. Herbert is my hero.

Dr. Mark Ross is pastor of Marion Baptist Church.