BECK N ME: Unhappy trails

BY JACK CROSSWELL
Beneath his shaggy beard, his lips moved ever so slightly.  His store bought glasses rested on his twitching nose.  He clutched the Hootersville Express with both hands while heavy thoughts raced through his mind. 
“They say one picture is worth a thousand words,” Old Blue Rosenbloom finally said. 
“Who said that?” said Beck, my ole Missouri mule.
“I don’t know,” Blue said, “but it must be true or I wouldn’t have heard it.”
“You hear the darnest sayings,” Ratchet Arnold said.  “It depends upon who takes the picture.”
“Jeff Simmons took the picture,” Blue said.  “It’s right here on the front page.  It shows Linwood Holton, our ex-governor, campaigning for Senator Barack Hussein O’Bama.  Linwood is frowning like a mad bulldog.”
“I have to admit,” said Beck, “that he doesn’t look happy. Maybe he ate something that caused gas.  I chewed on a wild onion that made me frown up but I hope I didn’t look that unhappy.”
“He’s supposed to be a Republican,” W. B. Crockpot said.  “What’s he doing trying to get votes for a Democrat?”
“His daughter caused it,” the mule said.  “She married a Democrat who got himself elected governor.  That’s why he doesn’t look happy.  She’s got him out campaigning when he wants to be home napping in his easy chair.  People his age enjoy sitting in easy chairs.”
“I know what’s wrong,” said Donna Hoback.  “He’s been reading Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice.  Betcha he’s thinking ‘…Must I hold a candle to my shames…’”
“He might be afraid the National Rifle Association will deny him communion,” Greg Sayers said.  “The NRA fears O’Bama will try to outlaw guns.  By appointing anti-gun judges, he could do it.”
Buster Blossom said, “Maybelle, my wife, saw that picture.  She said he must have seen the high prices for gasoline because that’d make anybody frown.”
“She’s a big woman,” mumbled No Fenders McGee.
A retired lawman and journalist, and published novelist, Jack Crosswell lives in Cripple Creek.