BECK N ME: Laplanders

BY JACK CROSSWELL
Ratchet Arnold wants to reform stock car racing.  He said so while they were watching the road race at the Infineon Raceway at Sonama, Calif.  If he hadn’t shouted, the barn denizens wouldn’t have heard him.  That wretched tube had them hypnotized.
“NASCAR should count the number of laps a driver leads,” said Ratchet.  “That should determine the real winner, not the driver who gets the checkered flag at the end.”
“Everybody wants to be a reformer,” said Beck, my ole Missouri mule.  “They all want to stop Kyle Busch from winning.  They can’t accept that somebody so young and from so far away is the best out there.”
“He wrecked Dale Earnhardt Jr. in the Richmond race,” said Old Blue Rosenbloom.  “Anybody who picks on Junior won’t get my cheers.”
“Junior should have stayed out of his way,” said Greg Sayers.  “If he’d been going fast enough, Kyle wouldn’t have been close enough to make contact.”
“My favorite is Carl Edwards,” Lori Meadows said.  “I like to see him do a back flip when he wins.  You don’t see any of the other drivers doing that.”
“At least they’ve got Kyle Petty in the broadcast booth,” said Wythe Albert.  “He’s not out there blocking them that want to race.  Too bad he doesn’t drive like his daddy and granddaddy.”
“I’m pulling for Jeff Gordon,” Paul Brewster said.  “He’s a good ole boy from Virginia like Elliott Sadler.  I have to admit that Elliott did well in that road race but it wasn’t his day to win.”
Ratchet Arnold said, “I still say that they should judge a driver by the number of laps that he leads.  That would keep them racing hard all during the race.”
Buster Blossom said, “Maybelle, my wife, says that California race had too many cautions for that.  By her count, the pace truck would have been the winner.”
“She’s a big woman,” mumbled No Fenders McGee.
A retired lawman and journalist, and published novelist, Jack Crosswell lives in Cripple Creek.